My first gut reaction answer to that question was “F-O-R-E-V-E-R,” but sadly, I couldn’t figure out how to embed this little video clip into the comments on his blog. It’s from one of my all-time favorite movies ever, The Sandlot.
Then I read some of the comments people wrote in response to his question. Not one single person answered with “forever” – just me, slow writer extraordinaire! In fact, I could only read the first 30 comments or so as they were just a wee bit intimidating.
Some people actually counted how long it took them to write an entire novel in days. Days!! I count down the days until vacation starts, or the age of a newborn baby, NOT how long it takes me to write a novel. Most people were in the 3-6 month range which to me is still mind boggling.
I suppose if I wasn’t teaching full time, coaching, participating in my own children’s lives, and I don’t know, eating and sleeping occasionally, I might be able to do that, but at the current level of “busy” in my life, I cannot see ever writing a novel worth reading in days or weeks time, a blog post or two maybe, but not a novel. I’m more of a months/years novel writing girl.
With that said, I am happy to announce that I finally finished a very rough first draft of my very first novel, and I did it . . . are you ready? . . . in 460-something days (or just over 15 months). I can check that little to-do off my bucket list!! I wrote a novel – even though right now its in the “shitty first draft” stage, I’m still checking it off! Happy dance!
It’s around 105,000 words. I’m thinking quite a bit of it needs to be cut, but I think I’d rather cut and tighten the writing up than have to add something.
I have no idea how long revising, getting it to readers, revising again . . . and again will take, but I’m guessing I’ll be true to form and go for months . . . not days. And then someday . . . maybe people will actually read it!
The ground. That is the depressing finish to this sentence. I went on a long (for me) run this morning as we are actually having a beautiful spring here in the high desert. Normally spring is non-existent. We just go from snow to mud to broiling hot without a whole lot of nice days in between, but not this year. It’s lovely, and I’ve made an early escape from the treadmill to the outdoors.
Despite the beauty of the spring mountains, I don’t look at this. . .
Or this. . .
I look at this. . .
I’ve been thinking about that these past few weeks because I’m struck by the beauty of the mountains greening up when I do look up, right before I look down again.
I think its because I’m a list maker, a life chunker. I like to break everything down into manageable pieces. Because I live near the mountains, when I run I climb a lot of hills. If I look down, I can only see about four feet in front of me, especially if I wear a hat, and anyone, including me, can run four feet. If I look down, I can break down an entire run, especially the climbs, into four foot chunks. I even have a “hill” mantra that I chant as I climb, “climb up this side, coast down the other, climb up this side, coast down the other.” If I only can see the next four feet of the hill, before I know it, I’ve made it to the top.
I do look up on the down hill sections, but I also often run on trails, and if I look up too much, I might trip. I need to see where I’m going to avoid stepping in a hole, so I find my eyes glued to the ground right in front of my feet again.
The problem with this approach, I’m discovering, is that I can miss the whole big picture, the beauty of the journey. It’s one thing to have a goal and go for it, even if it is only four feet, but not at the expense of the whole view. I tend to forget that.
The funny thing is that I really do like getting outside and exercising – I just need to look up occasionally and enjoy it. Perhaps I need a new mantra, something like, “pull your head up (or out!), enjoy the journey, pull your head up, enjoy the journey.”
1) My blog – I finally updated the “about me” page and changed the name of my blog. This is the third name, but that’s okay. It needs to grow with me. It’s now titled, “Speaking of Words, Quilts, and Life.” In reviewing the collection of posts I’ve made, most of my posts somehow address creativity in my life through writing, quilting, or even parenting, so I decided to expand the title. My goal for this blog is to write, consistently, twice and week for an audience, whoever they may be. So far, I feel good about what I’ve done here, and I’m also okay with not having a laser focus on my “content.” If I was trying to monetize this, that might be a problem, but I’m not, so I feel perfectly comfortable writing about my writing, my creative process, my quilting, or even my kids if I feel like it.
2) My novel – My goal for the year was to finish my first draft by April 15. I figured that is a national deadline of sorts, so I’d just join the party. Alas, I didn’t make it. My word count goal was 90,000 words, and I’m happy to say I have met and surpassed that goal by several thousand words, but I’m still not done telling the dang story! I think I have about six scenes left to write which could be anywhere from 6000-10,000 more words. At this point, I have the end written and 90% of the middle, I just have to get the two tied together. I’m almost there, and I hope to have a first, really rough draft done in two or three weeks. I’ve decided not to beat myself up over this as I’d rather start my revisions knowing that I have to cut rather than feeling like I have a lot I need to add. For me, cutting and tightening up language during revision is much easier than writing more.
3) My quilts – this part of my life has become a big zero. I haven’t touched a needle or thread in several months, other than to sew a button on a pair of pants last week, but that doesn’t really count. I wanted to sew this past weekend but ended up cranking out several thousand words on my novel, so my fabric continued its lonely existence. Summer vacation is coming, however. I just need to keep that in mind!
4) WhereTeensWrite – Another of my goals this year is to start a website for teen writers. I am happy to say that this is in the works. It will be a community for teen writers to share their writing, get feedback, and take online creative writing classes. I’ve had several students “consulting” with me on it, and we’re all pretty excited though it probably won’t be live for a couple of months. When it is, you will be able to find it at whereteenswrite.com. That whole summer vacation thing really needs to happen, so I have some time to dedicate to this project too!
5) This is not a goal, just proof that I’m still a “work in progress.” I’ve been blogging for a year and I just discovered that WordPress has a Handy Blog Scheduling Feature! I’m sure this tool has been available since I started blogging, but somehow it escaped my notice, so I’ll share for those of you who haven’t found it yet either. If, like me, you are busy and sometimes aren’t on the computer to post on your regular schedule, there is a solution. The next time you finish a post, click the “edit” button next to “Publish Immediately” above the big blue “publish” button. You can then schedule it to go out whenever you want it to and WordPress does the rest. How nice are they? This has made my life as a woman who works full time, has two teens, and tries to post regularly much easier, and I wish I had discovered it a year ago. Oh well, live and learn.
Image is Royalty Free clipart from Microsoft Office.
This past weekend, I had a two by four hit me in the head again, as life hammered another lesson home. It’s a lesson that I’ve learned before, but one that I clearly needed to learn again, hence the two by four.
On Friday morning, my alarm went off at 4 am, so I could catch the bus with my Forensics/Speech and Debate team to head six hours across the state of Nevada for our state tournament. Twenty plus schools headed north from Vegas and the rest came in from the northern half of the state. There’s not a whole lot in the middle of the state of Nevada, so it really was a “Civil War” type tournament, a true North vs. South contest.
There are seven speech events and three debate events to compete in. We could enter two kids/teams per event. Because many of my top competitors had a conflict this weekend and couldn’t go, I took some novice competitors and put them in events in which they hadn’t competed previously in order to fill as many slots as possible. We practiced, and I felt that since they were solid speakers, they would be fine. They were. In fact, one novice speaker made it into final rounds in Domestic Extemporaneous Speaking which means out of approximately 50 competitors, he was in the top six . . . statewide. He ended up placing sixth in finals, but a sixth place ranking at a state tournament is pretty impressive. In fact, I’d even say its college application worthy.
So how is this a lesson for me? The lesson is that (drumroll here) . . . skills transfer. If my student is an excellent debater, then it makes sense that he’s also a good, I mean excellent, extemporaneous speaker.
I have always wanted to write and when I was in high school, my mom encouraged me to write my stories down. Like many teenage girls, I ignored her and told myself that I couldn’t because what could she possibly know? I wasn’t good at it, and I knew everything – sorry Mom. When I was in college, I finally acquiesed and took a creative writing class. It was a disaster. I hated the class, the teacher, and the stories I wrote. It solidified to me that I wasn’t a good fiction writer. I could write essays and non-fiction with ease, but fiction threw me.
Last year, when I decided to start writing a novel as well as a blog I had to overcome this hurdle. I had thought for twenty years that fiction was out of my reach, so it was a BIG hurdle. To overcome it, I wrote a short story and a few scenes, and I learned that my writing skills transfer. If I can write, I can write . . . right? Though fiction requires a different skill set, the basics are the same. Writing is writing. This blog has taught me that lesson because I’ve asked myself numerous times over the last year, what is a blog exactly? What is the genre? It requires skills in essay writing, personal narrative, analysis, how-to writing, fiction and reflective writing. It requires solid writing skills in terms of structure, organization, grammar, and punctuation. In writing one to three blog posts a week over the past year, I have worked on these skills.
Though I’ve worked on these skills, I still question myself, wonder if what I’m doing is any good at all or if I’m writing an entire “practice” novel. Many people do, and then I begin doubting myself again which I have been doing over the past few weeks. My student’s success this weekend reminded me that I CAN do this. I’ve learned, yet again, that skills transfer. If he can successfully speak in a debate round and transfer those skills to an extemp round, then maybe I am not doomed to write essays my entire life because at the ripe old age of nineteen I decided that’s what I was good at.
Nobody else (besides my Dad who loved it – of course) has read my fiction, but I have learned over the past year to believe in myself and my writing. If I can write a blog for a year, then maybe I can write a novel too. I’ve only got about 8000 words to go . . . I can do this.
This summer I attended the Willamette Writers’ Conference. Many of the writers and presenters there kept saying, “keep your day job.” There’s even a pretty good blog that I occasionally read called www.writerwithadayjob.com that offers tips and motivation to keep going in the face of a busy life. She also has a companion book that I haven’t read but it’s on my list.
Some of the reasons successful (read published) day job writers give for keeping the job are:
It keeps you out in the world with real people, not locked away in solitude.
It gives you something to write about
It helps structure your day
It keeps you focused.
A steady paycheck so you can relax and not feel pressured to write
While I actually agree with many of those reasons, in practice it’s tough. Now that I am almost a semester and a half into the school year, I’ve been thinking about my progress on my writing thus far.
It’s been a struggle to meet my teaching, coaching, wife, and mom obligations and still find time to write. Last week, I did alright, but during the two weeks prior, I failed miserably at the writing part. It seems to work like this. I have a great week and churn out two blog posts and two thousand novel words and other weeks, it’s a struggle to get one blog post done.
My new writing goal is to write something every day. I started the school year with the goal to write 4000 words per week. That soon got reduced to 2000 words until I finally decided that writing something every day was better than nothing and demanding a word count from myself only made me feel like I was failing, which I am not, at all. It’s just that writing in the large chunks of time which I prefer has been difficult to achieve.
So my question is this: How do published writers do it? They give reasons to keep the day job but then how do they achieve their writing goals?
What are the specific strategies? On the one hand, I like the structure and focus my job teaching gives me, but on the other hand, my job is a time suck. Right now, I have a stack of research papers to grade; I had to be at school at 6:00 am this morning to take four students to town to speak to the local Rotary club; I am sending 18 more students to Reno for a tournament at 6:00 am Friday morning with hotel arrangements etc., and then I’m driving a school vehicle down with four more students after school gets out. I’ll return home midday Sunday.
Oh ya, and then I have a novel to finish. I am not complaining. I am happy . . . just busy.
My life is full. Each minute is precious. What are strategies that any of you found that work? I’ve tried a bunch, and I’m open to suggestions.
Last week I pulled out a bunch of fabric to start a new quilt. It’s not that I don’t have enough current projects to work on, (there are at least eight). It’s that I like starting projects. There’s so much potential at the beginning of a project, whether it’s a new quilt or a new story. In my mind, it will turn out amazingly well. I can picture the beauty of the quilt, feel the flow of the words.
The fabric I pulled sat on my ironing board for about five days, right in front of a quilt that is stuck to my mini-design wall and has been either on the wall or shoved in a basket on the shelf for, well, about five years now. Obviously, that project has not had my undivided attention. It did at first, when I started and tackled it merely for the challenge. This project entailed drawing a picture (I don’t draw), enlarging it at the print shop, tracing it all onto butcher paper, labeling each little piece, ironing it to the back of the fabric, and stitching it all back together again. It was a long tedious process, one of those that you get halfway through, start drinking and then think “what the hell was I thinking?!?” We’ve all had them.
The first part looked like this:
This took FOREVER, so I bagged that plan, and went with this:
The entire quilt is now done except for the hands. I appliqued them on, decided they looked like lobster claws, and shoved the thing back into the basket for another year.
Last summer, I got it out again and added some thread to try to add some shadows and fingernails to the hands. It helped, but they still don’t look like I want them to look. So I shoved it back in the basket. It came out a few weeks ago. Now, it’s on my wall, sitting right next to where I write. Or, more accurately, where I haven’t been writing, but where I’ve been sitting, staring at the screen or the paper, trying to finish the last stretch of my novel.
I’ve spent a lot of time the past few weeks thinking about “finishing.” I have two projects that are two of the most difficult I’ve ever done: my hand quilt and my novel, and I’m struggling to finish them. I’m learning that I have a hard time finishing hard projects. I start to doubt myself, decide it’s going to stink anyway, and start on something new and easier. I realized that’s what I’d done this past week when I pulled fabric for a new and easy quilt, one that I know will turn out, and also one that I know won’t challenge me at all.
I have never thought of myself as someone who avoids a challenge; I take them on all the time. My hand quilt, my novel, even this blog are all challenges I’ve taken on. However, somewhere along the way, I must have decided that it’s the finished project that is the most important element. Intellectually, I know that is a fallacy. The finished project is not the most important thing. Really. I learn something every time I work on the damn hand quilt as I do every time I sit down to write. It’s all about the journey . . . right?
Emotionally, I’ve decided my problem with finishing a difficult project is that it just might suck. My hand quilt might look like lobsters trying to sew and my novel might serve better as kindling for the wood stove, but if I don’t finish, they’ll always have the potential to be perfect! I’d love to say I’m mature enough to finish a hard project, accept the lessons of the journey, and move on, but I’m finding that the reality is, I’m not. I’d clearly rather keep working on these projects indefinitely rather than face the fact that they might not live up to my expectations. I might let myself and everyone else down. That’s scary, and in a nutshell, I don’t like it.
However, to try to overcome this new little core belief I have discovered about myself, I’ve decided that I’m not starting any new projects until the hard ones are done. I put all the fabric I pulled for the new easy quilt away. I’ll try to make the lobster claws on my quilt magically transform into hands, and I’ll also create a fabulous resolution for my novel . . . hopefully. In any case, they’ll be done, perfect or not, and I can start fresh.
During the past two weeks, I have re-entered the world of being labeled with a Greek letter and become a Beta. No, I have not rediscovered my inner sorority girl (though I can still proudly sing the Greek alphabet). I have become a Beta reader. This is the official name of someone who has the honor of reading an unpublished novel and providing feedback for the author.
In my day job as a high school English teacher, I spend countless hours reading students’ rough drafts, essays, paragraphs, stories, and personal narratives. It can get grueling. In fact, the one part of my job that I struggle through (well, I actually hate) is all the grading. I love the kids, enjoy the curriculum, like the lesson planning and teaching, but the grading? It sucks.
With that said, I wasn’t sure how I would be able to respond to an entire novel. Would it be like reading 150 pages of student work? If so, I feared my new venture as a Beta reader would send me down a path I’d rather avoid: annoyed that I’d agreed to the job and downing far too much wine to get through it.
Happily, I discovered I like being a Beta. I tried to read and respond to each chapter at a time, to record questions that I had about plot or characters, impressions that I got, directions I thought the story was heading at that point. Since there was a bit of a mystery involved in the story, when I finished it, it was also interesting to go back and see what I thought would happen. I was wrong and didn’t figure out the culprit until it was revealed at the end, just like I was supposed to.
While there were elements of the story that were fabulous, I also had questions about some of the characters, their relationships, and even some plot elements. I had read a draft, not a completed work, and while it’s a solid draft with tons of potential, it was just that, a draft.
I’ve been somewhat stuck in my own novel project over the last two months, and participating in the Beta process took a bit of the pressure off that I’ve been putting on myself to make the first draft reach a standard that it won’t ever meet. The lesson? Just finish. Get the first draft done. I can revise to my heart’s content . . . later. I needed that reminder. Writing is a process.
I’d like to congratulate my writing friend, Susan, for her amazing first draft, and thank her for sharing her work with me and encouraging me to get my project own project done so she can read it.