I’ve been waiting for someone. This is not someone I know, but someone I want to get to know. Actually, she’s a character. I didn’t realize she was a somewhat major character until last week when her role in my story grew. Now, I need to get to know her in order to move on, but apparently she’s not nearly as interested in getting to know me as I am in getting to know her.
All week, I’ve been asking myself: what kind of person is she? What is her name? Her job? Her ambitions? All those things I ask myself as I develop a character, and so far, I’ve gotten nothing.
I almost feel like she’s not quite ready to introduce herself, which is an odd feeling. Is it me? Have I done something? Is it possible to inadvertently offend or intimidate a character who lives in my head?
I realize I sound crazy right now. I feel a little crazy.
I had big plans for writing this weekend. It didn’t happen, and I’m starting to blame this character. To be honest, it’s starting to piss me off. I want to yell at her, explain that I have a novel to write and a busy life. My weekends are important for making progress, and it’s all her fault that I’m unable to work on it right now. This is not a good start to our relationship, unless, of course, for some reason, I’m supposed to not like her much, or she enjoys creating drama. Maybe that’s it.
I’ve tried all my strategies to jump start my creativity: running, reading fiction, reading “writing” books, quilting, quieting myself and listening, asking for help right before I go to sleep so my subconscious can work on it while I sleep, wine. Nothing.
Apparently, I just have to be patient which is not my strong suit, but I feel better already after this little temper tantrum on the page.
For some reason, she’s not ready to introduce herself to me. I guess I’ll have to trust there’s a reason for that and just hope that this week, she’ll be ready to make a grand entrance.